Harry Potter And The Curse of Dudley

Harry Potter, the boy wonder, the (HERO) of the wizarding world; sat alone in his tiny bedroom scratching his (BELLY BUTTON) and cleaning the (PIXIE DUST) out of Hedwig's cage. This summer wasn't nearly as boring as his previous summers had been.

Over the summer, his cousin Dudley had grown quite frightened of him. Harry secretly kept cursing him, even though under age use of magic was strictly forbidden outside of Hog(WARTS [HAHAHAHA, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT WORKED OUT LIKE THAT!])'s school of (BLANKET)craft and (JUSTICE).

It seemed the wizarding world turned a blind (TOE NAIL) when it came to Harry, and he never got in trouble for his... transgressions.

One particularly memorable curse on Dudley happened on the (8)th of June. It was so hot, you could (DEFENESTRATE) a (HAND CREAM) on the sidewalk.

Dudley sat on his enormous (NOSE) in front of the telly, spooning (COOKIE JAR)ful after (COOKIE JAR)ful of (SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS) down his throat. Harry thought he looked rather (HIPPO)ish, with his piggy little eyes and fat body.

Harry got an evil little grin on his (HIP) and raised his wand behind Dudley's head. "(EX ANIMO)" he shouted; which translated to English means "Turn this boy's head into a (PLUM) and make him dance around like a (TIGER) with (APHASIA)!"

And that's just what Dudley did! He (KISSED) off the couch, screamed "(FANTAZZICAL)!" to the top of his lungs, and began (SPELUNKING) on the floor, while turning in circles and flapping his (FEET).

Harry was laughing so hard, he almost peed his (NECK TIE). He was still laughing, and Dudley was still flapping, when Uncle Vernon came thundering down the stairs. He had gone a nice shade of purple. He looked at Harry, shaking in anger, then looked at Dudley, horrified. "(LITTLE AND OFTEN MAKES MUCH)" he screamed, then calmly turned and walked away.

Harry and Dudley looked at each other in abject confusion. Harry shrugged his shoulders in a "beats me" gesture, and the two cousins sat on the sofa, temporarily forgetting their animosity toward one another.

Dudley lifted the half empty (COOKIE JAR) of (SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS) and offered it to Harry.

"Don't mind if I do!" said the bespectacled young man, grabbing a spoon and preparing to dine.

Dudley's (FEET) gave one mighty final flap, and the boys had a most enjoyable evening, indeed.